1/21/2009
hee-haw
my life has been having constant spasmic attacks for the past few days, i dunno if the series of events were wished to life by my hormonal imbalance or probably the yo-yo philippine temp (cold-hot-boiling-freezing). so what happened to me? Labels: in a relationship-itis
i have had the privilege of being warden to the 18-ish college exams. fucken boring. added to my already mongolodial state, i wasnt at all amused as i normally was. i used to love watching students "try" to put their game faces during exams. some look hilariously constipated though and theyre the funniest to watch (disturbing sometimes). its really sensational how we all have our own tales of "proctorship" from the pathetic late excuses, to the super yabang aholes who pump their fists "YES!" as if naman alam nila tunay na sagot to the people who look blank (literally slash figuratively) AND hopeless. i have actually diagnosed them as right-answer-anemics.
taking the "relationship" with you-know-who to a higher level meant more perks AND obstacles wait...am i referring to "it" as an actual relationship now? isnt that branding? ohwell who gives a shit anyway. were great where we are. i am just lucky he still sticks by me whenever i have this retardation attack. we have had spats before, true to his logical, sane nature...he has managed to keep spats as...well... JUST spats. small-one-minute-arguments that are miraculously solved with good food, eyelash batting (he has hazel eyes and really long lashes that i envy) and the disarming smile (yes..THAT smile) that freezes everything to a ceasefire, then we come home happy shiny people once again like nothings wrong with this sordid world. that was until...we realized we were just as susceptible to worse fights and emotionally imbalanced arguments (that cannot be solved with good food or eyelash batting) as any other "couple". im just glad that even if we had the makings of a high-profile-chismis-prone-in-a-relationship-status (that would drive bored and nosy people insane) he has chosen to go with my way of making things simple and private. less people involved, less opinions, less problems. but crazy things happen. a routine spat went beyond the spat rules and has blown into a real argument and even matured into an i-am-pissed-off-i-cant-sleep-cause-this-is-fucking-us-up moment. of course the situation was really brewing a potentially nasty emo-explosion. started with talking over the phone with the i-am-not-in-the-mood-for-your-combative-overstressed-point, to his evidently pissed off tone when i blatantly said that "this is a pointless argument", to the tired and uninterested voice, lack of sensitivity...to the hyperlevel of combative statements...to intolerance...the "ewan" and "bahala ka" drops in monotone... to the texts that were cryptic and the answers that followed. we ended the phone conversation with an awkward pause...i recalled him saying that he missed me and i just clicked the end-call button like i was retardedly deaf or something that made me a notch more inconsiderate and abnormal (than the usual). didnt get to sleep right, i was awake watching darkness (how sad is that?) and from the "balik-tanaw" relationship troubleshoot we had, he didnt get enough either. he was the type to step up and become the mature person who sees the whole picture as what it was, an overblown overplayed spat. me? i am the crazy one, i choose to stay quiet and become emotionally ruined. i glad he is who he is, and apparently he is glad i am who i am too (whatever that meant). i should someday find myself deserving of him.
after good food, eyelash batting...the smile... the head-on-shoulder moment, a bad piolo-angel movie... everything is right in the world again.
this is it. and it is the best. imperfect but the best.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 4:08 PM |
