12/22/2008
who isn't?
i am friggin broke :(
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 5:54 PM (1) comments |
12/17/2008
the reconstruction
i honestly think it is more like re-formatting... or rewiring
jeezez. i guess i am more patient now... actually listen to the whole story before making a mad dash out the door, i find myself asking permission (nicely), trying to learn not to be ignorant in the kitchen, not shuddering at the thought of having children, apologizing and meaning it, sincerely admitting mistakes, opening up lines of communication, becoming more forgiving and trusting, ... aside from carrying three types of tissue paper + a hand sanitizer + a bottle of isoprophyl alcohol, curling my lashes, bringing a wallet, brushing my hair mid afternoon, carrying shoulder bags...
funny cause i have evolved into "this" being that years back would be immediate signs that the real "me" was abducted by aliens... or probably symptoms of an untimely death...
wtf? i now envision myself wearing an apron and actually SMILING.
i kinda like the "new" me. sortof
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:01 AM (0) comments |
someday when you're healed
you'd wake up smiling...a real good smile (that makes you feel great)
you would remember times without remorse...
...look back without regret
...move on with hope
you will sincerely wish for his happiness
you will not be bitter
you will be happier knowing that you have made it past the pain
you will be grateful for what was left
you are enough reason to be the best you can be
to carry on dreams
to pick up where you have left of
to be thankful for life
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 10:31 AM (0) comments |
g'bye
i have to say goodbye to my christmas bonus ha ha ha. im almost done crossing out names on my gift-giving list. those who didnt make it...oh well... maybe next year when i have more moolah to burn. must be the meager times... global warming ha ha ha, insurgencies, bank runs...
good thing i still have enough to get decent presents for my family. so maybe this year i would have to be more selfless and settle for a good 'ol pat on my back for surviving and making the best of my life. yeah that would be enough for christmas eve :) (more than enough actually cause i am sure i would be really having fun during dinner)
besides... i live a lucky life, that alone is such a blessing. i am happy :)
...but it would sure feel great if id win the lottery and buy stuff for people i love without looking at tags ha ha ha ha.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 10:16 AM (0) comments |
12/03/2008
eternal sunshine
just when i thought i hit a slump on the road... my career at the moment is kindof so-so cause of monotony... God gives me this challenge :)
i am off to tarlac tomorrow with my friends for one of the greatest career adventures ever.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 9:49 PM (2) comments |
12/01/2008
ruled out
i am in a state of confusion. i am neither here nor there, i dont even know where i am supposed to be...but i do not have the slightest care. this is the age of "supposed" security and i am still wading unchartered waters. being accustomed to flying and disappearing... i actually think this time its different. not sure exactly why but maybe the restraint (being the unfathomable force that is the you-know-who) is the defying factor.
understandable actually, my heart has been in constant trauma for as long as i remember. it still beats though (barely detectable by a stethoscope). id like to actually congratulate myself for being the ultimate survivor. with all honesty... i am tired of sprinting. i want to stay but i do not think i am capable of it...
the rules in "this", this meaning...gad i cant even define "it". the major rule is to "expect the unexpected" which isnt even a rule per se... its more of a word of warning. intense, reckless, irresponsible, exciting... makes you pump every ounce of adrenaline..always uphill. the sad thing is the possible crash. i predict total wreckage. devastation and probably a very, very fatal casualty.
morbid and pessimistic thoughts creep into the otherwise legal-aged-wonderland... but who knows? maybe...just maybe... eternal sunshine might be possible.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 8:09 PM (0) comments |
