11/28/2008
the you and i
6-03-2007
there will always be a "you" and "i", but there can never be a "we"
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:49 PM (0) comments |
had me thinking
3-20-2008 cant let you save me like this all-the-f*ckin'-time
you make me need you in desperate situations
but the truth is, i forget all about you and you seemingly dont really mind
you give new meaning to the line "i will always be here"
while i push the panic button and play my part as the damsel in distress
as if on cue, you charge in like a knight in shining armor ready to save me
from dragons, evil queens, witches... broken hearts and tears...
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:36 PM (0) comments |
prelude to catching rain
5-16-2008 how do you remember promises written on sand?
how do you capture a face only seen in the distance?
how do you feel kisses in a dream?
how do you touch a person when you're only left with the shadow of yesterday?
i now know how far i'd go for love
measured in distance
measured in time
measured in tears
measured in pride
i recently discovered why they say love is blind...
its because i kissed you with my eyes closed...
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:25 PM (0) comments |
11/27/2008
lady in waiting
all is well...for now... which brings me to something lighter... like christmas :)
jeez. theres so much stuff i want to buy for my family, friends and the boy. ha ha ha if only i have more funds. oh well... maybe next year when im ontop of my finances. ha ha ha im a little irresponsible with money. maybe cause i tend to be overly generous... sa bagay... i cannot resist people in need hayst. the boy said that i am gullible...that im a sucker for sob stories. actually sakit ko na yan... ever since i can remember... siguro kasi my family has been very generous din. tapos hindi ako sanay whenever i meet or talk to people na matindi pangangailangan. yun ang weakness ko... "awa". even more so, i get too empathetic to the point of being abused...
oh well... ganon talaga. but christmas is a time for sharing and giving. maybe this year since the world has suffered enough... id just hand out good deeds ha ha ha ha... cause its the thought that counts :)
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 10:31 AM (0) comments |
11/25/2008
pregster
it doesn't even look heavy, well...thats cause it wasn't. i could only wish that the baby can still hold on for a couple more. much as we all worry that the two-pound little girl needs more nutrition to be healthy, hopefully enough to survive the "outside" world. Labels: mature realizations
there are a lot of things we might regret, that is including being very selfish. but we can make amendments... let us just hope it is not too late
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 7:01 PM (0) comments |
11/22/2008
what to say
but the stuff on my head are the things that im NOT supposed to say :(
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 7:15 AM (0) comments |
11/21/2008
kryptonite
i feel so weak. defenseless from this. the most logical thing is to maybe... bail. Labels: decode, mature realizations, relationship blunders, wrong things
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 10:20 PM (0) comments |
11/20/2008
cross it when you get there
i have so much "free" time on my hands (free meaning = unpaid lounge time) i wanna volunteer (meaning FREE labor) for dr. pat and his supercool exhibits at UPdiliman and hang out with bajji and the nm director again. but not as a confused intern anymore but someone who is genuinely interested with full knowledge and capacity to be a reliable hand/mind on their exhibits. (with a masters degree + a cum laude status to boot ha ha ha allow me to gloat for one second)
free time... leading to pockets full of holes cause i dont earn as much as i used to (since i finished my last id proj a month ago). contemplating on whether i should "resign" this post for something more gratifying (financially) but without "flexi"time. geeesh... the things id want to buy (whenever i deserve it). siguro if i was an ultimate selfish person, id have so much moolah i could buy my car. whenever i think about people who have "forgotten" their monetary obligations to me... pero sa bagay... im still blessed. yun nga lang... people from the past and present become suddenly stricken with amnesia... pero ok na yun. i wish them well, na sana yung natulong ko sa kanila maitulong nila sa iba.
hayst. realizations. maybe its just a slump on my bank account or something. well anyway i have so much to be thankful for. i dont think im a bad person for wishing my christmas list. wishes are for free hahahaha. so anyone out there willing to be my santa claus hahahaha youre very much welcome hahahaha.
other matters:
cannot stay upset with you-know-who too long. nakakainis. hayst.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:17 AM (0) comments |
11/17/2008
selfish
please please santa... i will be a VERY good girl :) please fill my stocking (or a sack) with the stuff from this christmas list (now its clickable hahahaha)
hmmmm i noticed how your christmas list gets more expensive and more impossible as you get older hahahaha
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 6:37 PM (0) comments |
the domestication of the urban princess
after the endless press releases that she WILL NEVER be "house trained" the urban princess went to queue up at the grocery, list on left hand, a heavy yellow basket on the right. she diligently bought the rest of the "ingredients" for the "love brownies" to be whipped up the following day. long phone conversation with the boy, him giving her moral support on an endeavor that he knew was a colossal effort on her part. he coaxed her jitters and promised to LOVE the love brownies however they came out. (edible or otherwise) Labels: culinary adventure
sunrise next day plus a couple of hours she was giddy. armed with semi sweet and beligian blocks, eggs, bowls, cups, an electric mixer and flour she "built" her brownies like she would an empty interior shell. careful planning, motivation, patience and creativity, not to mention inspiration from the boy :)
a thick martha stewart book, chocolate patches everywhere, flour on the kitchen table and a smiling princess. her love brownies came out better than expected... moist and very chocolatey. passed the first testers' taste. maybe those brownies are not up for the blue ribbon...yet.
forgive the urban princess for her lack of culinary talent...wasnt bad...people were actually surprised on how she surpassed the extremely low expectations they had for her. up yours!!!!
but do you know the best part? its when she earns a smile and a chocolatey kiss from the boy. :)
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 5:46 PM (0) comments |
11/16/2008
past thoughts
written 1-5-2008 when trusting equates to hurting again...and again its just you and me. forever and ever. Labels: nothingness
screwed
when giving everything you've got is NEVER enough
when the letter that would change your life is still at the bottom of your piles...UNOPENED
when the farthest you've gone is just a footstep away
when every ounce of your courage to let go is a drop short in favor of holding on
when you blindly wade the dark waters guided by someone who cant swim...
when you believe in something so hard you'd swear you brought it to life
when you have done something so wrong that was so right
when love letters written in cursive on good paper, with sincere words find their way between the pages of your planner...
when the dried up white rose stands proudly at your work desk reminds you of something that is ALWAYS there
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 1:17 PM (0) comments |
11/13/2008
still on the same spot
life becomes lethargic...i have been sitting (lying, reclining) on the same spot left side of my humongous queen sized bed with my knees half flexed, my laptop resting on my bare thighs at a 90degree angle. i finished buttered pan de sals and my routine cup of coffee (extra sweet and creamy), both mobiles blinking like crazy from the influx of messages from people who seem to give a shizz. i am actually thinking about my christmas bonus and how on earth i could "wisely" appropriate my funds... so random thoughts: Labels: uhoh"a 13k-bag? aww come on...its nice BUT its not THAT nice..."
"christmas list 2008... daymn... so many entries... so little funds"
i now hear ma on the background calling me out to have lunch with man prant. i like hanging around with those two crazy people. i appreciate them more now, maybe cause theyre more relaxed.
wanna spend the day sleeping on my bed. but i cant. i want to...but i have to fight the urge NOT to. im scheduled to go to bp to "help" them with their christmas thingies and the building signage... i feel compelled to do this but honestly? im bored.
have to set up my office on our new (simplified) showroom... will be conceiving my baby NAD there. i want my own graphic company and 2008 was a year of excuses (well it hasnt ended yet) so I WILL HAVE TO FIND TIME to make things happen.
random thought bellowing"should i care about... will i throw all my ethical concerns for happiness?"
thinking. pausing. will come down for lunch
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 1:05 PM (0) comments |
in pursuit of...
happiness is simple.
who would have thought that line came out of me
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:41 AM (0) comments |
11/09/2008
freakin' great
this is the reason why i think aladdin is the sexiest disney character EVER. he kinda reminds me of :)
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 5:25 PM (0) comments |
next to impossible
i never thought i'd see the day when...
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 11:14 AM (0) comments |
11/08/2008
the magic of the walls
i remember entering the adobe walls for the first time. i was incomplete and armed with the little that i had, she accepted and embraced me without question. i blindly gave everything to her; my whole devotion, my unwavering loyalty and the very best of me... Labels: intra
i never knew we'd come this far. she glued together pieces of my shattered existence. gave me back my pride, made me work hard for something worth my time, energy and effort; made me meet friends i'd cherish this lifetime, healed me from a past that i thought i would never recover from, loved me for everything i was then and supported me for what i can become. she didn't just give me another lease on life... she led me to him...
for everything i am very grateful. her offer of permanency is an honor.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 8:43 PM (0) comments |
11/06/2008
change-d
life prepares you for the unexpected and good surprises come when you least expect them. i try to keep my life less complicated than it was before and believe me...its a constant struggle since i think im a magnet for complexity... Labels: mature realizations
oh well... i flip my middle finger to the challenges that will come my way and face them with my smuggest smile.
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 6:59 PM (2) comments |
back :)
yeaw. i miss this Labels: nothingness
posted by b3Rn1cE @ 6:44 PM (0) comments |
